Family

I don't really have too much to say on the topic of family. Only that family can be so heavy and burdensome, but that it is a load I am willing to carry. I would encourage you all to be honest about who you are and who your family is and pray for one another. Fast when necessary and always keep them close. There is never a reason to let your loved ones slip away. Keep you relationships current and love above all else.

Christmas

I am so excited about Christmas this year. I haven't spent Christmas day with my parents in almost 8 years and I am so glad to be here this year. We are having a great time planning our meals and doing our shopping (thanks to the sale of one of our cars-PTL!), and the girls are doing great not trying to open all of the presents under the tree. We are , as are most parents, really trying to balance the real (Christ) with the imaginary (santa). The only way I could do that in my head was to make the one, Santa, just imaginary. I am sure I am some kind of terrible parent for not "doing Santa", but I just couldn't.  We have absolutely gone to see Santa and we love watching all of the movies and things, but I guess I just had trouble mixing a true story with a made up one. I know, weird....but somewhere it just bothered me. The good thing is that we are able to speak openly about shopping and gifts and not work overtime hiding all of the gifts until the 25th. We wrap and we put out! I hope that as the girls get older we can really focus, starting on Christmas eve,  getting ready for the celebration of Christ's birth and maybe even open our gifts after we do our dinner and a cake. Like a real party for Him, but we give the gifts as an expression of our love for one another and in light of what Christ has done for us.  I love gifts, I love getting gifts and I love buying for my girls, so I am not against the gifts, per se, only that we don't focus so much on them. I think I would be okay with Santa if he weren't infringing on a Holy day for us as believers.  Just my opinion-and you know what they say about opinions......

New home in Houston

We are finally here in Houston and I am so glad to get some time with my family. I have been enjoying time Christmas shopping with my mom and playing at my sisters house. I miss our church in MS, but I think we will have fun here too. My moms job allows me some oppotunities to volunteer with some things she has going at the church so I am happy about that. I also love that anything her friends do they always invite me. I am going to a luncheon tomorrow at her friends house and I am so happy to be invited somewhere...it has been a long time!
I keep reading on blogs and on facebook about how busy people are with Christmas parties and shopping and some of it is rather complainy (forgive the made up word). I never knew how important those things were to me until I wasn't invited to any. I think it is easy for us to get caught up in how much we have going on and forget about those who really have nothing going on. When you want to complain about how much shopping you have to do remember a few things: #1- you have chosen how much to buy #2-it's not about the gifts #3-at least you have money to shop
No guilt trip here- I guess with all we have been through the last 3-4 months things have been put into perspective for me and I have really had to think about what I want this Christmas to be about. Lack of money means it can't be all about the gifts, no house means it can't be about decorating and having people over, no friends near by means it can't be about parties. So this year, probably for the first time, it is really about the beautiful birth of our Savior. So while it is sad that we don't have much money for gifts, and we don't have friends nearby, I do have my sweet family and my Lord. What more does a girl need?
I know that this phase in my life is only for a season, and believe me when I say that the Lord is working on me through this time. I think I just long for a familiar face, a hug from someone who knows me, and for my kids to have fellowhips with other children who know them. I have been alright with giving away/selling all of my things, and just walking away from my "old" life, the lack of day to day relationships has beent the hardest. We are looking forward to our training and being able to get this journey going. We have been talking about it for about a year now and I cannot believe that we are finally-almost there!

First few goodbyes

I always say that I don't say "goodbye" only "see ya later". Well, I have had to say goodbye over the last week and let me say it is gut wrenching! I said goodbye to some very good friends over the last few days. Brandie, Heather, Brandon, and Ammie- you guys have been incredible friends to me and will be missed tremendously. Heather is my challenger-she makes me think and always is a reminder to check my focus. Brandie is a great servant-without her I would have most definitely died over the last 2 years. She became "nanny Brandie" to my girls and I am forever grateful for her amazing friendship and love-especially when I am sometimes unlovable. Brandon and Ammie are the great encouragers. They have just been "Jesus with flesh on" always reminding us that HE is mindful of us. As a couple, they have just been amazing to us!!

Yesterday, I said goodbye to my house. I love that house!! I would have stayed there forever-it was so hard to walk out of my girls rooms and know that they would never be there again. My girls grew up sooo much in that house and we just had so much fun as a family there. We also had some very difficult times there and the Lord really worked on us while we spent time with Him there. Just lots of memories in that house and  I don't think I was ready to walk away from it.

The hardest to date has been my Popa. He has rectal and stomach cancer and is no longer able to take the treatments so he just IS. This is the man that took care of us when my mom was going through a divorce and no one was there to look after us. He made sure we ate, had a place to live, took us on vacation, made sure we had Christmas presents and that we knew we were loved. I cannot even begin to tell you all that he has meant over the years. Our moving has been very difficult for him. He is a believer, but has a hard time with us being called away. I can't help but think it is because he is afraid he will never see me again, this side of heaven.  I love you Popa!!!!

There are many more tears to be shed over the next weeks and I am sure it will never get easier, but it is a necessary part of this process. The Spirit will be our great comforter.

Please pray for the Smith family- Don Smith has been Ian's mentor over the last 3-4 years and he died on Sunday. We are so sad to have lost him, but know that his was a GLORIOUS homecoming. 

Also, please pray for the R family also. They are dear friends going through a terrible time with their son.