The fight of my life

Anybody else feel like FOOD is the enemy. Well, I do. I have struggled with food my entire adult life and I am determined, with God's help, to win this time. It is hard for me to even put this in writing because then everyone knows... I can't hide anymore! Like most girls, I was at a really good weight and size when I got married. Then I got "settled in" and stopped thinking about what was going in to my mouth. And let me tell you EVERYTHING was going in my mouth! So I put on some weight. Lost weight again around graduation time and I was very satisfied with where I was on the scale. We moved to ATL and then I put on weight again...Got pregnant with Bianca-SURPRISE! I gained more weight. I weighed 234 the day I delivered Bianca- I had gained almost 50 lbs. YIKES. I never really lost more than about 25 lbs. after I had her and then I got pregnant with the twins. I gained the 25 back and only 5 more with this pregnancy. So that put me at about 240 when had the twins. Even at almost 6 feet tall, 240 lbs. is a lot for me to carry.  So since I have had the babies things have just been up and down. I can am back in a size 16 and I hate it. I feel like crap. I know a lot of girls where a size 16 and that is fine if you are ok with it. I am just not! I used to try to fool myself into thinking that I was ok with myself but that is just a lie. A size 16 is not my best. Really a size 14 isn't my best, a good starting point, but not my best. I don't know what size is my best- I don't think I've been there in a long time. I just know that I need to be respectful of the body that the Lord has given me and take care of it. I know just to be healthier and to be able to play outside with my kids without getting winded I need to drop at least 30 lbs. So, I am back on Weight Watchers (it has worked for me before) and I am just praying my way through the day at this point.  This is a stressful time in our lives and may not be the best time to try to loose weight but is there ever really a good time? I have also been told that I may have a hard time finding clothes in Spain, not many 6 feet tall women in Spain -so let's not complicate it with any extra weight. Ok, so there it is...I am fighting I will be victorious. The Lord will bless my efforts to be healthy and confident.